Singularity

This is a typical conversation between me and somebody whom I haven't met in a while:

Friend: So who have you been seeing lately?
Me: Uh... nobody? Still pretty much single?
Friend: How come?
Me: Because there is nobody worthwhile dating I guess...
Friend: But you're working in the gym! There are plenty of hot guys there!
Me: Don't think I can date anybody from the gym...
Friend: And why not?
Me: Well firstly, I don't think I should "shit where I eat". Secondly the program I teach is shunned by gay folk because they are afraid it would crush their delicate balls. Thirdly, every guy who goes to gym is probably in love with themselves more than anything else.
Friend: Well... ok true on the first two counts, but the third one where got??
Me: OK... here, I will prove it to you. Take a look at that guy over there for example (singles out hot gay guy working out on the floor). Hot, right? Sexy, yes? Does he look like he sees anything but himself in the mirror? I don't think I need a boyfriend who'd probably want to fuck in front of a mirror so he could see how beautiful he looks while cumming.
Friend: ... then how? What about clubs?
Me: But I don't like clubbing...
Friend: That's where you'll get to meet people!
Me: Look, think about it. Do you see anyone in the club who is even remotely relationship material?
Friend: ... true also... then how are you ever going to meet anyone?
Me: I dunno?
Friend: Ok fine, since both gym and clubs are out of the question where do you think you'll find a guy?
Me: *Dreamy look* Well I wouldn't mind someone hitting on me at the library or bookstore...
Friend: ...
Me: What? Is it so wrong that I'd prefer someone to fuck my brain instead of my ass?
Friend: ...
Me: ...