There is only one situation where I can be at my most fake, job interviews. I hate job interviews, it probably ranks second if you lump all those shit-listed people in my little black book... ok maybe third, right after mathematics (I commemorate the day when I never had to do sums for exams ever again). All those preparations of compiling your previous works to include in your portfolio is a mountainous task, especially when you're a triple job holder such as me who doesn't have time to sort out his underwear, much less portfolios.
And that's only the beginning, because next you have to pore over several maps of Klang Valley in order to determine the location of the blasted interview. When maps fail to produce any inkling of the location, it's time to dial up all my native KLites friends to assist. Then you have to doll up, something which I absolutely hate to do, just to look 'impressive'. OK, maybe this is partly my own fault because I simply will not settle for the conventional shirt and tie look.
Cut to the chase, you're at the interview, and sometimes even though they ask you to be early, they make you wait for ages before they start the interview, whereupon they begin with their pointless line of questioning which they already know you won't answer 100% truthfully anyway. Maybe that's not so bad, I got an 'A' in my Drama Class after all, so acting is not something I am unfamiliar with. The worst part is they begin with their mockery of your work, which either may or may not be an attempt to gauge your level of humility and tolerance. Either way, you have to suck it in and put on your best Miss Universe runner-up smile. There can't be a more perfect moment for me to want to smash the smug interviewer's face with my chair.
A piece of advice for those of you out there who are looking for a job for the first time of your soon-to-be miserable lives. Never take for granted that if the one hiring you is someone you know means you can be candid and honest with your opinion. To my knowledge, they can be the biggest a-holes when it comes to honest opinions. The shit will hit the fan so fast, before you even begin to realise what happened.