When I Was Young...

1. I used to think that different countries were located on different planets which we traverse in spaceships.

2. I was terrified of the dark and deathly afraid of what lurks underneath my bed at night.

3. I thought people get pregnant automatically after marriage.

4. Mannequins and huge religious statues freak me out because I thought they would move.

5. There was nudity on national television.

6. I thought when people get together naked on the bed they just kiss and cuddle.

7. I didn't bother looking for toilets to relieve my bladder so any drain will do. Though I will have to say aloud, "Excuse me, I'm peeing" to avoid pissing on the local "Datuk".

8. I couldn't watch horror movies without covering my eyes and sneaking peeks between my fingers to ensure the scary scenes were over.

9. Any stray animal was a friend. Well actually I still think they are.

10. A dark banana grove nearby my home (which has since been bulldozed for new houses) was a terrifying place.

11. I was disgusted at snails and slugs, all of which I would kill by sprinkling salt on them. My nanny encouraged the practice.

12. I would have no qualms about crawling into claustrophobic covered drains to rescue the occasional foolish chicken.

13. I rescued every stray kitten I found because I thought the mothers abandoned them.

14. Cockcroaches were my sworn enemies because one crawled up my leg and I could feel the horrible hooks on their legs.

15. For some reason I found my late grandfather's foot annoying, of which he would on purpose push in my direction.

16. I could pass off as a girl, even when I am not in girls' clothing (ahem).

17. We had a neighbourhood fireworks and firecrackers war every Chinese New Year. One landed in front of me once and exploded, showering me with drain water and my ears were ringing for weeks after that.

18. I thought I was in love with my nanny's niece. We even had a "couple photo".

19. I was a kleptomaniac in kindergarten but would discard my booty later because of conscience pangs.

20. I believed in the 18 layers of Taoist Hell.

Blondies

This MSN Messenger conversation was in reference to this entry.

me: your boyfriend f*cks guys??
whiterabbit: you wish
me: only if your boyfriend looks like Rain (the Korean popstar)
whiterabbit: lolololol
whiterabbit: Rain is so hot
whiterabbit: ironic as that sounds
me: why ironic?
whiterabbit: Rain?
whiterabbit: hot?
me: oh darling that was so lame
me: and here I was thinking of something more complicated like thinking Rain was hot was too bimbonic for the likes of you
whiterabbit: oh, didn't you know?
whiterabbit: I've changed
me: yes, gone was the angst dyke
me: now long hair ger ger (girl girl) liao
whiterabbit: eeyerrrr
whiterabbit: you make it sound so disgusting
me: long hair ger ger who gigger gigger (giggle giggle) over Rain
me: and goes "omg like he is sooooooo hawt"
whiterabbit: EWWWWW
me: yes now we're sisters both you and I
me: we will have slumber parties every weekend and gigger gigger over Rain and other hotties and have pink pillow fights
whiterabbit: get away from me you freak
me: this is so going into my blog

Precious Little Angel

I normally don't talk about my the work I do in gym, partly because I feel it's nothing much to shout about and partly because I don't think I am an extraordinary instructor anyway. Though I enjoy instructing (fine, I will admit it gives me an ego boost), I don't think I am the kind who garners a following, so when I do get a few regulars who show up at my class everytime I teach it is always a pleasure.

For some weeks though, one particular regular failed to show up and last Thursday she finally made an appearance. After the class, just out of formality I asked her about her absence.

"Oh... my daughter has brain tumour"

For a moment I couldn't quite believe what my ears made out.

"I beg your pardon?" I replied.

"My daughter has brain tumour, so I had to stay over at the hospital"

"Oh dear!" I checked myself, I didn't know if such an exclamation was rude.

Thank goodness she didn't. She further explained to me the ordeal her 11 year old daughter had been going through since eight. Apparently the tumour wasn't the spreading kind, but it just keeps growing and at the moment the doctors couldn't find any permanent solution other than 'trimming' the tumour every now. Chemotherapy wasn't exactly working so now they are recommending radiotherapy. She claimed after three years she was kind of used to it.

I looked at her face and I wasn't quite certain if she was trying to convince herself or me. I felt sorry for her and her daughter for having to suffer unnecessarily at such a young age. Corny as it may for me to say this, makes you wonder if we're taking for granted for being able to live relatively healthy lives. I never had to go through the anxiety of having a family member living with a life threatening disease and hopefully never have to. But yet here was this mother, who attends my class almost every week, perhaps just for a moment to escape from the fear.

As she thanked me before she left, I offered my wishes that her daughter get well soon and that she also remember to take care of herself. Perhaps I have little faith in God, but in a silent prayer I genuinely hoped for her daughter's speedy recovery.

Lament of the Pseudo Breeder

Look at me.

Do I look straight?

I was told I do.

No I am not flattering myself. I had been approached once in Liquid and was asked if I was really gay. Well unless I was a clueless jock who thinks gay club means lesbian action or I was actually a lass with a really tight bra, I find that question quite redundant. And yes, once upon a time I did go to Liquid, twice a week and the podium was my former throne.

That aside, looking straight is not exactly a good thing. Quite possibly someone might be fantasizing about doing naughty things to the supposedly straight guy they have been observing for months but that is just akin to mental masturbation. You're getting the kicks and I am getting blue balls. Perhaps passing off as a heterosexual breeder might be every flamboyant queen's secret wish, but trust me, it's a lonely road I walk. The only time someone ever made a pass at me at a gay joint was a weird guy who wanted to kiss me on my forehead. What do I look like? Frodo Baggins? I know my legs are hairy but I assure you my feet are quite follicle free.

Things are not looking so bright either in the gym. Bad enough no gay men dares to venture into the class I teach, the ladies are clueless about my sexuality too. One made one of those titter titter remarks to me that most of the male instructors are gay without realising she was actually talking to one. Another time a bunch of bawdy male pot-bellied breeders made loud comments after overhearing a couple of gay guys flirting with each other. Right after the two walked off to exchange numbers this was what I heard.

"Why ar these gay flers... got nice pussy and soft breasts don't want, wanna play backside... ha ha ha!"

Hello? And I was barely a meter from them. Christ... what do I need to do? Wear a feather boa to gym?