"So you were just methodically going through it like a clockwork? Insert coin for f*ck?" - on non-exciting sex.
"You DO NOT pick up stuff from the floor and put it in your mouth no matter how much time have transpired. I repeat: YOU DO NOT. EVER. Unless it’s a very expensive pill." - on retrieving food that has fallen to the floor.
"It's Chinese New Year in 3 weeks, my birthday in 2 - I want to look good enough to f*ck myself by then" - obsessing with the physical appearance.
"I love Stephanie Meyer's Twilight, it helps with my bowel movements." - on Stephenie Meyer's gruesome piece.
"Get a room. And your boyfriend is gay." - to a couple publicly displaying their affection on Valentine's Day.
"I am not sending your Siti (Nurhaliza cd) through normal post - it might get lost, which is not altogether a bad thing." - on how much I care about that 'gadis menyampah dari kampung'.
"Exes are best served in a coffin with a stake through the heart." - on exes.
"Oh that's not too hard if you like oysters..." - on oral sex with a female.