ANNIE, I LOVE YOU!!!

I love Annie Lennox. I don't care if she's old enough to be my mother and that I am also a screaming fag. I would marry this woman in a blink. I know I have declared my undying love for Sarah McLachlan before, but Annie is a classic. This is the woman who inspired Neil Gaiman's anthromorphic aspect of Desire. She's the original gender chameleon. She might possibly be the only recording artist in the whole world who could get away with covering someone else's song and make it her own. Plus, she doesn't have granny arms like minging Madonna. Since embedding is disabled, click on the link below to see and listen to her latest single, a cover of Ash's Shining Light.

Click Me!

And I am much amused by some of the feedback on the single, most of them positive of course. Here's a few that really tickled me:

"After all these years, she still looks like an icon! Inspired cover version, and she could teach old slappers like Madonna a thing or two about how to get older with dignity and style. Not to mention how to sing! Well done Annie!"

"Annie i can't stand you....but...think this song suits your voice.

It truly hurt to say that."

"Annie is so useless and talentless and that is why she is Britains most successful female artsist and won grammys, brits, ivor novellos, golden globes, a oscar and countless others. Plus sold over 80 million records."

"Seriously, only this woman can pull off covering any song and positively own it!"

Oh wait... that last one was me...

White Lamb

Remember Brown Bunny? Well now he has a new companion:


Meet White Lamb. Well, like Brown Bunny, it's not really a lamb. It's the 83rd edition of the Starbucks Bearista, dressed in a lamb suit. This is one of the two things that Starbucks is good for, and the only thing out of all their over-priced products that can make me willingly part with my hard earned money. Just for the record, this adorable creature cost me RM59. Way overboard for 9" stuffed toy. I am such a sucker for teddybears, and blast Starbucks for making them so cute. And how I itch when I saw how cheap and cute some of the past editions are on eBay.

I shall not spend money unnecessarily... I shall not spend money unnecessarily...

Of The Perak Fiasco & Racial Politics

I am not usually politically inclined other than just making passing comments about current political issues. However like most of the younger generation, I do have a rebel streak so I pretty much hold the ruling government in contempt. Whatever the case I am never too fussy about who is at the top as long as they are doing the job they are suppose to do. As much disdain as I have for the ruling coalition, I have much respect for our ex-PM Tun Dr. Mahathir. He might not have been a leader who plays fair, but at least he WAS a leader, much unlike the constantly half-asleep Abdullah...

The recent fiasco in my home state of Perak does not really affect me much, though I would still rather see the Pakatan Rakyat in control. And like recent polls, the underhanded grab for power did not go down well with me. Though I did not like the fact that the much beloved Sultan Azlan Shah did not dissolve the state assembly (which would have been the most fair thing to do), I do believe in his wisdom it would have been the less problematic decision to acknowledge that PR had indeed lost its majority and should make way for BN. After all, didn't PR itself supported the notion of taking over the federal government via the defection tactic a few months back? Funny how when the tables are turned, we see a different face on both parties. So someone please tell me if my notion that there is no one worth voting for in the elections was wrong when we have a bunch of hypocrites as candidates.

What irks me however is the recent backlash that came from PR's action of wanting to sue the Malay ruler over his decision to acknowledge the new state government. Let's not forget, that it was Dr. M's, (a Malay man) actions in the past that removed the Malay rulers' immunity to the law. So what's the fuss if someone indeed decides to sue one of them? Don't get me wrong, because I have much pride in our country's unique royal heritage. Though in all logic, I believe it is nothing more than a cultural thing. It is rather sad to see, that in this day and age, when we are now finally witnessing a black man become the president of the United States, that our country's politics are still divided by racial lines. Sue a Sultan, and all a sudden it becomes a challenge to Malay rights. Frankly, I doubt the ruckus that is being raised has anything to do with their love for the Malay rulers. It is just another excuse to remind the minorities of the Ketuanan Melayu.

Every politician in power wants to harp about racial integration and harmony, but speak up about racial inequality and we have the issue above hit the fan. Our country's politics are undoubtedly ruled along lopsided racial lines, we just can't say it out loud, because we run the risk of questioning the "Malay rights" and therefore branded a racist and inciter. For goodness sake, after the last general elections we could not even accept a Menteri Besar from a minority race in a state where Malays are the majority. Does it really matter? The role of a leader is for the betterment of the people, so Malay or not should not be an issue, neither should it be a challenge to the national religion. No one is suppressing anyone's rights to worship here. Who cares what is the race or religion of a man or woman at the top post as long as he/she does the job well?

If I have ever voiced my support for the opposition, it is only because it seemed the lesser of two evils. At least DAP and PKR appeared more likely to end the racial divisions. No comment though, on PAS. We have wasted enough years with BN's other component parties' lack of vision and submission to UMNO's arrogance and ego. Any wonder why BN lost significant support from the people? Times are changing and despite already almost a year since the elections, BN still appears to be holding on to its archaic standards with nothing to show from its many promises to change. Even the more educated of Malay folks are feeling the less for the need to be coddled. I have no bones to pick with my Malay brothers and sisters, just the point of view that one race should be above all the rest does not sit well with me. I wonder if I will ever live to see a prime minister from a minority race. Then again, who can say?

F*** My Life

There are worse things that could happen to someone on any fine day in the world. Like for instance, a bomb could land right on top of your home and obliterate your entire family while leaving you the maimed sole survivor, or maybe some crazy terrorist decides to send a plane right into your office building. But that's not really the point of this entry. I want to illustrate just how bad things can turn bad on you on any ordinary day.

1. You wake up late.

2. You go to get your breakfast at the nearby coffeeshop, and the people there decide to take their own sweet time to attend to your order.

3. The first signs of annoyance begin when the slow moving vehicles decides to hog the right lane and the left lane is full of slow rumbling trucks.

4. Some bright spark decided it was a good idea to have the Le Tour de Whatever route run through one of the deadliest traffic snarls of rush hour, the dreaded Lebuhraya (or Parking) Damansara - Puchong. It induces a virtual standstill through 3/4 of the entire length of the highway and spilling the mess into several connected routes.

5. It's everybody for themselves. Everyone has somewhere to get to on time, so hell, let's squeeze into whatever lane gets you there faster. Does anyone in the Klang Valley not realise it only slows down traffic even more? Cars start to scrape against each other, cars stop, and drivers argue about who bumped whose butt at the expense of further aggravating the jam.

6. Halfway through the stop and go traffic, you get a stomachache. The kind that probably is a man's closest equivalent to childbirth.

7. You finally get to a shortcut, only to have all the traffic lights (numbering about 10) along the route turn red at your turn, all the while trying your best not to empty your bowels on the carseat.

6. About 500 meters from your office, someone's car decides to breakdown, delaying you from your destination another further 10 minutes.

7. You finally arrive at your office building. You enter the carpark and a really 'considerate' person decides to hog the lane while he waits to take someone else's parking space despite the availability of many more and the other one takes his/her own sweet time to unlock, open the car door, step inside while arranging his/her belongings, check himself/herself in the mirror, buckle up, start the car, and then move out slowly while making sure he/she does not disturb the surrounding air.

8. Great, you finally manage to park and you have so far successfully not soiled your pants yet. You grab your bag, head for the elevator and find both are at the top floor.

9. The elevator finally arrives, and you get inside, all the while praying to whatever God or Supreme Being it is you believe in that it would just go all the way up without stopping. No such luck. It stops at the next floor and you find two people with a trolley talking with each other and not realising the elevator has arrived despite the loud chime. When they finally realise, they slowly push the laden trolley in. Just as the door is about to close, another two persons stops the elevator, and presses the floor right below yours.

10. The elevator stops at next floor, to open to no one waiting outside. Someone apparently thought it was a good idea to press for both floors to save their own time at the expense of someone else's.

11. You finally arrive at your floor, breaking out in a cold sweat from the effort of holding back your bowels, already one and a half hours late and you make a run for the toilet to find all the stalls occupied and the next nearest washroom is on the floor below.

12. You finally make it to an empty washroom, but someone in the next stall apparently could not stand the odour of his own discharge so he lights up a smoke. Heaven for him, suffocation for the one next door.

13. You're sweating from the agony of your efforts.

14. You finally arrive at the office, to a warm office. Because apparently all the women are cold blooded - they could not withstand the air-conditioning.

In the tradition of www.fmylife.com.... FML.

Happy Darwin Day

Charles Robert Darwin - Evolution by Werner Horvath

Today marks the 200th anniversary of the birth of Charles Robert Darwin, the man who pioneered the theory of natural selection, the driving force behind the evolution of species. This year is also the 150th anniversary of the publication of his On the Origin of Species.

Thou Shalt Not Waste

A friend brought a bag of these to my Christmas party back in December (obviously) and left it in my kitchen. For two months, I did not really bothered about it. Now I assumed it was untouched as it looked unopened. Three days ago I finally got around to it after feeling an itch to munch. To my horror, I found that the bag was opened. The contents exposed to the elements of my kitchen all this time.

And then curiosity got the best of me. I picked a piece from the bag and inspected it. No mold, no sign of a household pest infestation. Slowly, I drew the pretzel close to my mouth and I took a sniff. No offending odour. Then almost an afterthought, I popped it gingerly into my mouth and took a bite.

Two days later, I finished the whole bag. All 10 ounce of it.

Crouching Pirate Hidden Pimp

I hardly ever buy DVDs nowadays, mostly because Food Snob dumps a portion of his cache on me once he's done watching them. Unfortunately after a year of doing so, he has yet to have a lot of hits as to guessing what type of movies are to my liking. So it was on one of those rare occasions yesterday that I decided to pay a visit to the neighbourhood DVD pirate which has a lot of titles to satisfy the finicky person like me. As most Malaysians are familiar with, DVD pirates are mostly a stereotypical lot. The Chinese lala beng types who used to rule Chinatown (which now resembles Banglatown more). Being the fact that the joint is new, the proprietor was very much friendly to any visitor who drops by. A little too friendly perhaps. At first he tried recommending titles to me. Me, being me however, usually do not appreciate being constantly harrassed while perusing though I just nodded and smiled to humour the man.

Then he began to explain to me his promotions, of how I can mix and match different sorts of DVDs in his shop and get one free if I buy five titles. He sneakily lead me to a section where softcore porn were among the mix, then he said in a coy tone that he had more hardcore ones in the room at the back and that he can recommend me some titles if I needed. I flustered and waved him away while trying to distract him by showing more interest in his Star Trek: Voyager boxed set ( I REALLY WAS INTERESTED IN THAT, OK?!). Not to be perturbed, he insisted and lead me to his secret stash. I had to humour him for a while browsing through various heterosexual hardcore porn while trying my best to feign interest in abnormally large bosoms and penis-chomping vaginas, though in reality I was more interested in the stack with a naked man brazenly displaying his genitalia.

"Try these titles! Got story wan!" he says (in Cantonese of course).

He left me alone after a while much to my relief, though I still had to pretend to browse through more titties and vaginas for fear he might be observing me through some secret hidden camera to find out my "consumer habits". I left the room unobtrusively as possible to avoid his attention, but alas:

"Aiyah boss, nothing you like?"

"Er. No." I felt as if everyone in the shop was looking at me, "I will just stick with your old movies thanks."

I quickly shuffled back to the Blu-ray section and made my choice and quickly paid for them. But DVDman was not about to let me go without a fight.

"You don't have to worry, I will never bluff you! What I recommend to you is all clear wan... I still want to make sure you come back right??"

"Right. That's what you DVD sellers say."

"Aiya, don't say like that la... tell you what...." he lowers his voice a notch, "If you want to kiu kai, you let me know! I do this also!"

"WHAT???!!! You do THAT as well??"

For those of you who don't know, kiu kai here is a crude way to say "soliciting the services of a prostitute".

"Yaaa! All Chung Guok mui (Mainland Chinese girls), guaranteed pretty! I don't do all those Malay, Malay wan. You just let me know what you want, I arrange for you!"

Dear God, that was the straw that broke MY back. I walked as fast as I could from the place without breaking into a panic run, half wanting to throw my earlier purchase back at the offending pimp. I felt as if I had just made a donation supporting the flesh trade. I have no problems with piracy, but I draw the line at prostituion. One thing is for sure, no way I am going back THERE again.

25

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I am one those who are termed as a "banana chinese". Though I dislike the label, I am proud to be one because I dislike Chinese pride or "kiasuism".

2. I read in the toilet. If it wasn't because dampness damages books, I would set up a bookshelf in there.

3. My dream job is to be a National Geographic journalist though sadly at this moment I am not even half a step near achieving that dream.

4. I was still washing my face with soap till I was 23 of which of all people, my mother made me use facial wash.

5. I am not very conventional or stereotypical when it comes to being gay, though occasionally I would ham it up just to annoy people or amuse myself.

6. I had my first flight at 28, in September last year.

7. I am an old fashioned romantic, though as I get older it becomes increasingly useless unless I want to seduce naive young boys.

8. I used to be terribly passionate about art but 4 years in university and 5 years in the industry has totally sucked the passion out of me.

9. I held a torch up for someone for almost 5 years and there was no happy ending to it.

10. I have appeared locally on TV before as an extra and internationally on BBC radio in an interview on gay people living in Kuala Lumpur.

11. The people I have dated are all different, from age group to personality and some even baffle me as to how I even ended up in a relationship with them. I must be desperate.

12. I hate idling and I have a short attention span unless it is something that interest me.

13. I have a morbid fascination for things associated with the dead - cemeteries, mummies, funerals, tombs etc.

14. I might possibly be the only one in my class in my schooling days who actually liked history for what it is and not a topic to ace in exams.

15. I hate and suck at mathematics. The day when I no longer had to deal with it after my foundation year in university was a day of celebration.

16. I have an overactive imagination. I formulate all sorts of scenarios in my head, and most of them are negative. Doesn't my blog user name already tells you something?

17. The only time you will ever catch me singing in public is when I am instructing in the gym.

18. I am very particular on who I consider as friends, and those that I do consider as friends have a special place in my life.

19. I love traveling but totally hate the logistics and planning.

20. If I could, I would like to change every single bit of my physical appearance - from my hair, down to my toes.

21. I think I am a terribly horny person.

22. I am very conservative when it comes to spending, unless it is something that I really, REALLY like.

23. Despite being gay, I still fantasize about having a family of my own and it saddens me sometimes that it probably will never come to be.

24. I get irked at people who take ages to answer me on messenger without a valid excuse.

25. I think I might be having commitment phobias.


Everyone who read this is considered tagged.