Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Beauty & The Beast

It pays to be pretty. When you're good looking, you simply can do no wrong, even if you're a serial child molester who dines on your neighbours' pets. It is not unusual to find a pretty boy ranting on his blog about "all the injustices of the world" and the mindless fans from near and far who quickly rally on his comment string to offer their support and sympathies. All in hopes of either consciously or unconsciously getting into pretty boys pants. Pretty boy's dilemmas by the way will usually consist of trivial things like:

"Oh why does no one understand the poor little ugly boy behind this pretty face?"
(To which fans will usually will attempt to dispel pretty boy's "insecurities" by telling him how pretty he is inside out)

"Oh why does no one like me?"
(Yeah right!)

"Yeer, I have a pimple on my face... not pretty anymore liao"
(Again fans will rally to comfort pretty boy on how he is still pretty to them)

And they can write the most outrageously pretentious poetic rubbish that no one really understands but yet fans will nod approvingly and praise pretty boy on how intelligent and talented he is. I am tempted to cut and paste examples of such comments here but that would be an act of provocation so I will just have make do with general examples. Trust me, the things that pretty boys' fans say are so cliched they make Jack and Rose believably tragic.

I will not deny that I get envious at times from how pretty people seem to get all the good attention so it tends to raise my hackles whenever pretty people start complaining about their love lives when they could almost easily have whoever they want by flashing their million dollar smiles. I have been known to my friends to be quite merciless with my comments, even if I happen to be dating a pretty boy. I simply refuse to fuel their need to have their egos stroked. You know you're pretty so shut up and be pretty. So when it comes to me, they are rather aghast and taken aback at my bluntness which is uncommon among their legion of fans. So yes, pretty boys don't expect me to offer you candy, but if you want to see the uglier side of life, baby, I'm your man.


savante said...

Whoa. Fortunately I'm hideous as hell so I'm not on your immediate hit list.

Why the anti pretty boy mania? What happened?

Elliot T. McBeal said...

Now now doctor, all doctors are automatically sexy so it doesn't matter if you're pretty or not.

Alex said...

I love your post! Direct slap to the pretty boy face, more awakening than Richard Dawkins'.

Now tell me where the pretty boys are...