Space Filler

Just three things.

Firstly, an old acquiantance died recently in a road accident. From what I heard he was driving back from Penang with his boyfriend in the car with him. Car skidded from a busted tyre and the resulting crash fatally flung him from the vehicle, though the boyfriend survived. Don't know how much of it is dramatised by gossip queens, but it was said that he died in his boyfriend's arms. I must admit I can hardly remember how he looks like, having never seen him for a few years at least, though I recalled him being a rather boisterous, cheerful person. I can count myself as lucky because in all my 26 years of life, I have only lost two friends, both I can safely say are not close to me. Despite that, it didn't stop me from contemplating on his death but I guess being human, we're drawn to reminders of our own mortality. After watching all five seasons of Six Feet Under, it had sort of made death seem like a very common thing, which it is in fact. Rest in peace, Michael.

Solid stone, is just sand and water, and a million years gone by.

Secondly, after being 'conned' into getting my mug professionally shot and retouched, I uploaded the result in my profile site. Something which came as a relief for some of my close friends who had been badgering me into replacing my six year old picture. Incredibly my heart count quadrupled in less than a week's time, most of them from new people. I am half flattered and half disgusted, at how much importance gay men place importance on fleeting physical appearances. Making me even more disgusted are people I have known from the past were among those joining the fray, including a particular narcissistic buffoon who thought if he were given a chance to do me, would blow my mind and my entire perception on sex. Christ. I would keep him in mind if I ever consider sex with hairless simians. Of course this is nothing new. Still, it doesn't stop me from feeling bothered and dismayed. Oh well, for those who thought I was attractive to their eyes, thanks anyway. I would rather prefer it if they saw more than just that.

Thirdly, after a long time of resisting, I have finally caved in to being superficial. I went on diet just so I could work on getting those torturous 'six packs'. Not so much on vanity's sake, but just to prove I can do it. I did not set a particular time span in achieving this. It is however, beginning to become an irritation. Living alone doesn't give you much time in preparing your own food, and the difficulty in finding suitable food outside to sustain the diet is frustrating. I am pleased to say though, it is showing some results if not much. Good luck to me.