Wednesday, October 24, 2007

You.Complete.Meme.

I am bored so sue me. There's work to be done but I can't haul my sorry ass to finish it. Give me a break.

1. I've come to realise that my last kiss was one that I did not mean.

2. I am listening to the dead silence of the office and some chinese song playing on my colleague's pc.

3. I talk only when the key fits. At other times I have been said to be cold as ice.

4. I love not having to care about anything if I could.

5. My best friends are are people whom I could talk to. Not necessarily close, it's just that they have been around for a long time.

6. My car is a small affair but it gets me places.

7. My love life is like Ally McBeal, which spells comically tragic.

8. I hate it when people ask or spread rumours about my love life. Often I hear fantastical stories of my exploits which surprise even myself.

9. Love is something I hardly can remember anymore. I often live in fear that I will never love again.

10. Marriage is farcical and a relationship with guarantees of payback when it ends.

11. Somewhere, someone is thinking about me in a fond manner but I am thinking about running away.

12. I'm always fantasizing of a better life.

13. I have a secret cheesy crush on someone at the gym who can barely speak English.

14. My cell phone is mostly silent and is an irritant mostly because of unwanted messages and calls.

15. When I wake up in the morning,I always feel like I have died a little in my sleep.

16. When I go to bed at night, I wish I can have some peace of mind.

17. Right now I am thinking about what a troubled person I am.

18. Babies are, smelly weird pudgy creatures which may or may turn into a good looking person.

19. I get on MySpace, only to find that it's such user-unfriendly piece of trash.

20. Today I wish I could tell someone I do not love him.

21. Tonight I will probably be still thinking of the same thing.

22. Tomorrow I will be hoping that I could finally do it

23. I really want to feel at peace

24. Someone that will most likely repost this is someone who is just as bored as me.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Beauty & The Beast

It pays to be pretty. When you're good looking, you simply can do no wrong, even if you're a serial child molester who dines on your neighbours' pets. It is not unusual to find a pretty boy ranting on his blog about "all the injustices of the world" and the mindless fans from near and far who quickly rally on his comment string to offer their support and sympathies. All in hopes of either consciously or unconsciously getting into pretty boys pants. Pretty boy's dilemmas by the way will usually consist of trivial things like:

"Oh why does no one understand the poor little ugly boy behind this pretty face?"
(To which fans will usually will attempt to dispel pretty boy's "insecurities" by telling him how pretty he is inside out)

"Oh why does no one like me?"
(Yeah right!)

"Yeer, I have a pimple on my face... not pretty anymore liao"
(Again fans will rally to comfort pretty boy on how he is still pretty to them)

And they can write the most outrageously pretentious poetic rubbish that no one really understands but yet fans will nod approvingly and praise pretty boy on how intelligent and talented he is. I am tempted to cut and paste examples of such comments here but that would be an act of provocation so I will just have make do with general examples. Trust me, the things that pretty boys' fans say are so cliched they make Jack and Rose believably tragic.

I will not deny that I get envious at times from how pretty people seem to get all the good attention so it tends to raise my hackles whenever pretty people start complaining about their love lives when they could almost easily have whoever they want by flashing their million dollar smiles. I have been known to my friends to be quite merciless with my comments, even if I happen to be dating a pretty boy. I simply refuse to fuel their need to have their egos stroked. You know you're pretty so shut up and be pretty. So when it comes to me, they are rather aghast and taken aback at my bluntness which is uncommon among their legion of fans. So yes, pretty boys don't expect me to offer you candy, but if you want to see the uglier side of life, baby, I'm your man.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Beyonce Shmyonce

If I have to hear another queen whine about Beyonce canceling her scheduled concert in KL I will bust a nut. I don't give a rat's ass about whether or not the reasons she canceled was due to the government's strict dress code for stage performances. Don't get me wrong, I am not exactly fond of the government's dim-witted conservative backward mentality or the Muslim hardliners' fondness for women to be wrapped up like popiahs.

If you want to look at it from a religious point of view, seriously if God wants you to be all wrapped up He wouldn't have made Adam and Eve naked. Rather He would have made them equipped with unremovable jubahs and burqas. The whole concept of feeling shame of one's naked flesh came not from God, but from humankind's own incurable curiosity to disobey His strict orders not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. And stop sneering you dumb male chauvinists, Eve didn't force the fruit down Adam's throat. The damn fool took it willingly. God didn't only throw Eve out, he threw BOTH of them out because both were equally guilty. And be reminded that men's first clothing were fig leaves, so all they covered were their privates, nobody said anything about hair, shoulders, knees or whatever.

In any case, I am rambling. Yes, I don't care if Beyonce is coming or not. I would not waste good money on that talentless over-the-top hack. I would pay to watch her tumble down 12 flights of stairs again though. I will pay extra if she lands flat on her face. Anyone who has to cancel their appearance because they are forbidden to flaunt and shake their boobies and booty on stage to cover up their lack of talent is better off not coming anyway. Tells you something doesn't it? Religious fanatics and Beyonce fans, don't bother arguing. You're dumb and I'm brilliant. Such narcissism, I know, Laynie would have been proud.